With no hint of superstition, Messy Fun has
released its thirteenth video, a six-scene, nearly two-hour
production entitled At the Messy Movies .
In a movie critic setting (ala Siskel and Ebert) our hostesses Carolyn and Daizy lead into each segment with such escalating bickering and insults (and attempts at humor), that you just know that these two are destined for their own messy moment.
If there were academy awards for messy videos, this one would surely be nominated for Best Drenched, Best Pies (in a supporting role), and Best Battered Babe. It would not be mentioned for best musical score, however.
The first segment is the slowest on the tape, even for wetlook fans. In it, Crystal, a petite Asian girl, steps into the shower attired in a dark blue suit, orange silky blouse, black hose, and heels. She slowly gets wet, smiling with every drip, until she is soaked through, revealing a black bra beneath the clinging blouse. Letting down her extremely long black hair and caressing her body, she is now wet from head to toe. This lengthy study, which wetlook fans will appreciate, is replete with Crystal sparing no part of her body as she caresses her dripping clothing. The camera gives ample attention to glistening legs and shiny black heels. Liquid soap is carefully and liberally applied to chest, legs, and shoes – though her hair gets a full treatment. She exits the shower still smiling and fully clothed.
This is followed by a muddy piece featuring Chase at an outdoor clay pit. Smiling seductively and clad in black leather jacket and pants and a lime-green lycra blouse, she gingerly dips her black ankle-booted feet into the soupy clay. Before long, she’s in up to her knees and then her slim hips are swallowed by the clinging muck. Vainly (and not quite believably) she struggles against the mud’s grasp, her blouse gets coated, and the muddy jacket comes off. Up to her shapely breasts, she tries to crawl out – before surrendering to the sensuous clay, lying on her back to submerge her long blonde hair. Her obvious enjoyment of the mud which encases her lithesome body is punctuated by occasional quick glances, perhaps to see if she is being watched but the cameraman (and now the viewer) are the only witnesses to this shameless, sensuous seduction of a pretty miss by the enveloping mess. Shedding the ruined blouse, she drags and dunks her braless chest in the mud. Finally, reaching the shore, Chase peels herself out of her pants to find her panties much too clean for the mood she’s in. Stepping back into the goo, she pulls the mud soaked jacket back on and rolls around before the obligatory face plunge. Altogether, it’s one of Blaine’s better bits.
The third episode on MFV13 has old favorites Amanda and Nicole in the implausible role of sleepwalkers who traipse (arms extended of course) from their respective beds to literally run into each other next to a stream in the rain. The girls, both in silk pajamas (Amanda’s is white, Nicole’s is dark blue), are quickly soaked to the skin (Amanda’s showing nicely through the now transparent nightwear). They frolic in the running water, stretching out seductively on the rocks and rapids. Hair is soaked again and again as the two, now seemingly oblivious to each other, surrender totally to the caressing current. The pajamas stay on but both girls end up barefoot. Audio here is the best on the tape blending music with the rushing water for a near perfect complement to the sodden maidens’ dreamy drenching. Carolyn and Daizy, when introducing this scene, allude to Rob slipping and soaking the camera. This was indeed true – an expensive video camera was ruined that day (which is why the scene never progressed to any nudity) but all Rob really cared about was saving the tape! Which, thankfully, he did.
Messy food fans will be glued to the screen in the next offering as Billie in thigh-high black boots, black stretch slacks, and orange lycra blouse has an intense encounter with a dozen bowls of multicolored cake batter. The scene takes place entirely on a bed (the perfect place to get to know your batter better), beginning with careful coatings of boots and pants. Then the bright mixes are poured over and inside her blouse, over her bottom, and long dark hair. Apparently, the recipe required more thorough mixing, cause Billie happily rolls in the mess now covering the bed. She removes her soggy blouse which allows her to recolor her white bra (barely containing her size D natural boobs) bright orange with a few quick strokes. This bra is soon shed followed by the boots, pants, and panties so that our conscientious cook can better batter her face and hair with creamy yellow goop. Now follows a frenzied outpouring of chocolate and white mixes topped off with streams of chocolate syrup before she throws herself into more mixing of the slimy concoction which flows over bed and body. After a further application of chocolate to her face, Billie grabs a still white pillow and hugs and wraps herself around it (is anybody reminded of Ann-Margret in Tommy?) before snuggling down for her nap. Sweet dreams, Billie…
The fifth “movie” reviewed by Carolyn and Daizy, “Fit and Filth”, is a curious mud bit done indoors which treats us to four girls at an exercise session. All are fitted into bright spandex body suits and two are barefoot while the other two are in sneakers. The leader, Frenchie, puts the three newcomers – Heidi, Kat, and Cori – through their aerobic paces but soon finds need to inspire each one by applications of mud to butts, shoulders, and hair. It must work because more and more mud is employed – coating backs, fronts, and in-between legs. To no one’s surprise, the instructor is pulled down, smeared liberally and, of all things, mud is actually poured on her pretty face while lying on her back! She is subjected to more mud than she gave to the other three combined – before all semblance of order and class decorum are lost, and each gal finds no shortage of mud for anyone within reach. After all are generously coated in the gray-brown goo, the exercise suits are reciprocally removed to facilitate freedom of movement (of course). More faces and hair treatments ensue as the girls’ focus moves from basic exercise to very basic breast rubdowns. The “class” concludes with a squirming, writhing, sensual, muddy free-for-all. Ah, fitness…
For the conclusion of MFV13, the disheveled Daizy and Carolyn, who have provided the links to the various scenes with a dubious continuity and ended the last intro with a catfight on the floor, attempt to rate each “movie”. In addition, they get into an argument over who, Kassándra or Capri, does the better imitation of Natalie Wood in The Great Race – supporting their arguments with a preview of Capri in the 12-girl Pie Fight (which will be on MFV14) and a flashback of Kassándra in Ariel’s Pie Shop (MFV10 – Amanda Explains it All). When they give Chase’s “Mud Angels” two thumbs down (that’s all they have), Chase instantly appears, a pie in each hand, and we “cut to the chase”, as it were. The technology here is cute and sophisticated consisting of a montage background of other Messy Fun video scenes displayed behind the girls as they chase each other back and forth – which does remind one of the elements of speed and pursuit. Although Daizy and Carolyn each somehow also get a hold of a pie, Chase scores first with pies to both faces as they are pop up from hiding behind the couch.
Two large boxes of cream pies are brought in by Daizy and Carolyn the contents of which are, with grand deliberation, applied to all participants in a multipiecation exercise that destroys their nice outfits – with some assistance in the form of dress and blouse ripping action. Carolyn’s pink 2-piece business suit is the first to go with Daizy’s red satiny blouse and black leather pants next. Each gal is soon topless – and proud of it (as they should be) – as onto the pie-strewn floor they go, to there divest each other of their remaining clothes – Chase ending up nude as her brown jungle-print dress is ripped to shreds. An excellent pie fight throughout the whole of which the viewer is spared further dialog. Perhaps the next MFV release will have a presentation of Emmys to these stalwart stars – in the shape of a pie, of course.
Although it may not offer paint, oil, or baked
beans, MFV13 serves up a felicitous mix
of water, mud, and food that should more than satisfy
the viewer. Crisply edited and well composed videography are creatively
linked by Daizy and Carolyn, whose dialog was well rehearsed (as
the bloopers shown during the credits reveal!). Academy Awards
or not, we think Blaine has a winner here.
